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Tech Retort

When I am on hold -- as I frequently am -- waiting for tech support, or when the clear documentation for the software I've just downloaded turns out not to be so clear, I often hear myself saying, "Technology is a wonderful thing -- when it works."

Of course, I mean electronic information technologies, not old-fashioned tools like pencils and car windows powered by elbow grease and telephones that come only in black and have dials instead of key pads. And sometimes, I think, I don't mean the technology itself at all. I mean the trappings.

Documentation, for example -- formerly known as "instructions." Sometimes it's written by geeks, for geeks, with no effort at translation into everyday English. Sometimes it seems to have been written in another language and translated into English by a non-native speaker. And sometimes, it doesn't exist at all.

Even when the documentation is written in clear English sentences, there's the problem of sifting through it to find the answers you need. Whether you're looking at the manual that came with your computer or software, a guide you found at your local megabookstore, or an online "knowledge base," chances are good that the words you use to search for the information you need won't lead you there -- at least, not without a lot of detours along the way.

Whatever route you take, sooner or later, you're sure to end up on hold, waiting to be connected to a "customer care center," a "help desk," or a "premium support line." You'll listen for several minutes to your least favorite kind of music, punctuated by repeated assurances that "your call will be answered in the order it was received." Finally, you'll be connected to a cheery-voiced young person who was hired two weeks ago, given a minimum of training, and instructed to do everything possible not to transfer you to the person who can solve your problem.

That's when you'll begin to learn the lingo I call "tech retort." Here are some elementary examples:

• "Expired," as in, "The 90-day free support period has expired. Further support costs $35 per incident. Please have your credit card available."
• "Conflict," as in, "There is a conflict between our software and that new program you just installed on your computer. You'll need to reformat your hard drive."
• "Patch," as in, "Yes, ma'am, we know there is a bug in the software. Log onto our web site and download the patch. It may solve the problem."
• "No," as in "The Vice President for Customer Service has no fax machine. There is no way for you to contact her."

And my personal favorite:

• "Third party," as in, "I know your printer's manufacturer says the problem is in the computer. I know they told you to call us. I know we don't make printers. But we can't do anything about it if you attach your computer to equipment made by a third party vendor."

Yes, technology is a wonderful thing --so long as a conflict with a third party doesn't cause you to expire while waiting on hold.

Cordially,

Lois C. Ambash, Editor
editor@metaforix.com

"High Stakes Are for Tomatoes"
Peter Schrag, Atlantic Monthly, August, 2000

With education a top priority among the American electorate, there has been a widely-covered national trend toward high-stakes testing as a means of holding public schools, teacher, and students accountable for their performance. This article explores a growing backlash against high-stakes testing, emanating from parents, educators, activists, and legislators across the political spectrum. Opponents' complaints address issues of innovation, stress (on both students and teachers), disparate impact on rich and poor communities, and the nature and stringency of the standards themselves.

To read the full article, click here.

"Local courthouses are full of all kinds of interesting information: child-custody cases, petitions for divorce on grounds of everything from adultery to abuse, people's entire financial histories.

The information's always been public - but it hasn't always been easy for casual observers to get. That's about to change.

Courts across the country are moving toward pouring their musty documents - and all the juicy details they contain - onto the Internet. The move toward a more cost-effective and efficient storage system will mean that, instead of a picket fence, people will be able to peer over a computer screen to snoop in their neighbors' private lives.

Source:       Kent Davis-Packard, Public Records Get a Little More Public"
                  The Christian Science Monitor, August 21, 2000 

XML: XML, or "extensible mark-up language," is a rapidly emerging standard that far outstrips HTML in its capacity to represent data. HTML basically encodes how the data will look and how it will link to another piece of data or document. XML provides almost limitless ability to encode what the data means.

For example, using XML, the number 72 could be identified as an address, a golf score, or a page number. The word Buffalo could be identified as an animal, a city, or a university. XML offers the prospect of common industry-by-industry coding standards, or "vocabularies," that will facilitate information sharing and comparison shopping. It will allow a single link to point to multiple documents and enable various electronic devices that are now incompatible to communicate seamlessly with one another.

References consulted: Bill Barnes, "The XML-Men," Slate.com, August 22, 2000, and NetLingo.com.

Assistive Media

Over 95% of materials published in the United States are not available in audio format at the time of initial publication. This makes them inaccessible to people with visual, motor, and other disabilities. Relying primarily on capable volunteer readers, the not-for-profit Assistive Media helps bring disabled people into the mainstream by providing spoken versions of recent magazine articles and other short journalistic and literary texts.

The recordings are accessible at no charge using the free RealPlayer software. With the help of corporate support and individual online donors, Assistive Media plans to upgrade its equipment, grow its audio library, and expand the scope of its outreach services. Materials for disabled teens are high on the priority list.

If you are fortunate enough to be able to read whatever you like without a second thought, take a look at the sites "Current Features" -- from sources like The New Yorker, Wired, and The Atlantic Monthly -- and imagine for a moment what it would be like if they were not available to you. Then, spread the word about this extraordinary organization.

If your budget permits, before you leave the site, "click to donate" -- perhaps an amount equal to the cost of the last book you bought.

To visit this site, go to: http://www.assistivemedia.org/

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